I don’t live at the beach, I don’t live near a beach. I don’t know rich people with country houses or pools, willing to adopt me and I don’t have a car to drive out to some swimming hole, plus it’s fucking freezing here, so the bikinis or staring a bitches in bikinis has been pretty few and far between…

Meaning, I saw less than a dozen swimsuits this entire summer….and the ones I did see weren’t on hot chicks, it was on old ladies in the park….which had to fucking do because beggars can’t be choosers or some shit.

Meaning, my access to bikinis is so limited, that I get fucking excited staring at bikini pics, like kind of incel who first accessed the internet discovering that bitches are shameless and love putting out bikini content, despite the bitching the fate woke lesbians do when it comes to dude or brands using bitches in bikinis to market shit, because unlike me, they are just bitter that no one is inviting them to the pool parties or bikini experience because they are fat angry and no fun to be around….

I am not bitter about not being invited to the bikini party, because I have the internet and can deal with the swimsuits on my own terms without all the small talk and being asked to put my pants back on…

So here are some bikinis, worthy of getting excited over, even as a grown ass man over exposed to porn, because everything else in the world is pretty fucking miserable…..

LONG LIVE THE BIKINI SELFIE…

Posted in:swimsuit